Hi Anita nice to see you again. As you correctly guessed my anxiety stems from incidents that happened in my childhood that left scar.

As my anxiety and panic attacks started troubling my daily life i decided to figure out why and how this happened to me. I tried to remember incidents from my childhood in which i have been particularly scared or confused. Then the following incidents came to my mind. I was 5, went for a shopping with my mother. My mother was very strict, no nonsense woman and i used to obey her. That day while she was shopping and i was standing next to her gazing at the road outside (may be looking at cars). suddenly i felt something fell on my neck. Mom was hitting me with something from behind. I was only spared because another woman standing next to her noticed it. Then one night she was upset with father and came to my bed room, used a cane on me while i was in deep sleep. I used to get abused unexpectedly and unreasonably. Another incident in which i got a barely visible cut while playing in the school. Back at home i was severely punished for being careless… The irony was my cut was nothing compared to her punishment. This is what i was trying to say. As i grew up (may be an 8 year old) my neighbors started noticing these harsh punishments so my mom almost stopped hurting me during the day time. Then you know i started getting nervous and trembling during dusk as i know she will find something to beat me, throw things at me, break the plates, yell at the top of her voice. So i used to pray to God for dawn to approach early. Another time, my neighbor who was fond of me pursued my mother to send me for dance lessons (she accidentally saw me imitating a dancer on the television). But my mother taunted me until i tell my neighbor that i hate dance an don’t want to go. In many ways i felt unloved and unattended for. The worst part was i never told anyone these things but kept recollecting incidents that hurt me more.