Dear Lavender27:
I can see how living in a different country makes my suggetions above partially unapplicable. I am now living in the U.S. but came here from another country. When I was growing up (I like to say “growing IN”) my mother screamed very loudly at me in our little apartment as she hit me or otherwise and NOBODY ever said anything to my knowledge. It was in the 60s 70s. It made me wonder if anything WRONG was happening at all- nobody said anything, nobody showed up to intervene. I remember neighbors… a couple from the U.S. came to visit my neighbors in the other country where I was born. The Americal mother was beating her son who was 13. My neighbors and I (I was 15) stood outside the door to give the mother privacy to beat her son. The sounds were horrible, the sounds of the heating and his cries, yet it was treated like it was her RIGHT as a mother to do whatever she wanted with HER kid. I share the responsibility for standing there with the others, feeling distressed but doing nothing.

I was in my early 20s the last time my mother ran to me with her arms flailing in the attempt to hit me. For the first time I reached out with my arms to her and caught her hands, held them in my hands and exerted just enough force to keep them in one place, not moving toward me. She withdrew and that was the last time. It made me angry to think that that is all it took, that the bully, or the Enemy, as I viewed her, was not at all that strong.

I don’t know how physically strong your father is… fighting him may be futile and may cause him to physically hurt you more than he already does. It is a SHAME that the unevolved, primitive attitude that parents CAN do anything to their children, minor age or adults, still exists. It used to be LEGAL for parents to kill their children. This is where we come from, that history, still existing.

The part of my advice that is still applicable to you and that you are aware of already and you are already planning for it it: you MUST get out of that house. You must have no contact with your father (and your mother if you so decide).

WHATEVER IT TAKES, move out. Whatever it takes. Try to make it as best a move as you can, but do it. It is necessary for your mental/ physical health. Please post again, lavender27, I will look forward to read every one of your posts.
anita