Dear aweyiss- I can tell from your post that you are a well thought-out person and have the ability to self-reflect. You stated “you want to move forward with my life and learn to love myself so that I can avoid the pain that comes with these relationships in the future.” In counseling, this is a goal oriented statement. The question is – is how do you get there from here? From reading your post, I would start by getting to know yourself, and continue self-reflecting. A way someone gets to know themselves are by being alone. Being in a relationship, you adopt ideas, behavior and characteristics of individuals you are with. It’s often these traits of a girlfriend/boyfriend collides with who you are. You mentioned you are a “heartbreaker”…during your ‘alone time’, maybe you can determine why that is. Is it because you are afraid to attach to someone you love? Does your depression/anxiety take over your life causing you to self-destruct a relationship? I would do four things to start with 1) seek help for your depression, 2) take some time to get in touch with your inner-self, learn who you are and what you want, 3) take care of your emotional and physical self and 4)stay active (exercise, volunteer, etc)

Let yourself grieve it’s a normal human response to losses.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by Jayme.