I saw something online (Facebook) the other day that said “I want to create a life I don’t need a vacation from” and that really got my attention because its the total opposite of my life but something I’d love to have.

But at least you consider yourself successful! I have to work 2 jobs (even though they both pay pretty decent) just to pay the bills and it’s literally draining all the life from me. I wake up on the weekends for work and cry because I just want to be at home and resting and taking time for myself. My weekday job is OK bu I’m not satisfied here either.

I ask myself every day “Is this it?? Is this all that’s in store for me? Do I need to just suck it up and accept this and realize that life is sometimes boring an fulfilling and not all excitement and glitter?”

I’m at some kind of mid life crisis phase here and I’ve been unable to pull myself out of this depression for going on over a month and it honestly feels like I’m living in hell.

I feel empty. I can’t muster any excitement to do any of the things I used to enjoy doing. “learn a new language! take a class!” I keep reading = nah. Don’t even feel a desire to do anything other than curl up in a ball on the couch after work.
I always imagined myself further ahead at this point..

Do I accept my reality? Or do I change it? All I know is right now my reality is unsatisfactory and I’m unable to achieve lasting happiness while living inside this reality. Is this my own fault? Am I just selfish and want too much? Am I too mentally lazy to challenge myself to think positively? I constantly want to escape, even when I’m escaping!

I am in the exact same rut…. I’ve tried all the “Whats your purpose in life” questions and I still keep drawing a blank. I think this lack of purpose is leaving me empty inside. ‘Find what you love and youll never work a day in your life’ is what Im trying for but I have no idea where to start. Is relaxing a career?? lol