Dear jason:
You fear losing what you had but you realize you already lost it. I like you wanting to live your own life, no longer so focused on her, on what she will or will not do next… It is not a good idea in any context to center your life around a person who himself/ herself has no idea what they want. If you focus on the one who is unfocused… ineffective, isn’t it, hopeless…

Yes, focus on you. Focus on fixing what you CAN fix. Be the “fix it” guy, only fix what is possible to fix: your focus, your center. Difficult, but possible (better than it being difficult AND impossible to fix her).

As a side effect of your shift of focus and center- things are much more lightly to get better.

And maybe, over time, even though you lost what you had with her, you will gain something good that you WILL have with her.
anita