Hi Rebecca

As a parent, I can only endorse what Inky says – I would go through any amount of hardship to give my children the chance to become all that they can be, and I would never want them to compromise their future for my sake. There is nothing on Earth that gives me more joy than seeing them doing what they love and being happy. So focusing on yourself is the most unselfish thing you can possibly do!

It’s wonderful that you care so much about your mother – you have been through a lot together, and it has obviously brought you even closer. So it is important to remember that oxygen mask analogy – you won’t help your mother by giving her something else to worry about!

Another thing worth remembering is that, at 62, your mother will be a lot more resilient than you think. Anyone of that age will have known significant hardships, and your mom especially so. She was over 40 when you were born – take it from me, that alone is a huge lifestyle change! Then, left alone with a young daughter, she worked hard and got her into college when others would have crumbled. She is obviously a strong lady and deserves a huge amount of credit for what she has achieved. Sure, she has had a setback, which is tough, but she has had to deal with far worse – she will adapt to it, or find something better, like she has had to so many times before. And she has the support of a loving and caring daughter to help her, and that is all the payback any parent could ever want.