Thank you Guys. Your words are acting as a medicine for my disease of depression. I am really somewhat feeling better now. Your advice has strengthened my resolve to stop all contact with her. I think I would ignore her from now on and if at all she asks me the reason, I would explain that it is not healthy for me to be friends with her.

The thing that’s bugging me is that why can’t people just introspect instead of avoiding things. Why run away? The only reason I still felt like continuing the friendship is because I felt that may be because of her upbringing, she is hurt and even after having so many friends, if she is unable to open up then how much pain would she be carrying so I should not hurt her even more by terminating the friendship. Sometimes I can feel her pain of feeling detached from everyone else and not being able to communicate her feelings because of the fear of being judged, etc. She can small talk with anyone but when it comes to opening up her heart, she gets uncomfortable. So, I thought that I should be patient and wait for her to at least think about her behavior and then talk properly about her behavior. But all she had was ‘ I wasn’t talking to you to give you time to sort out things and move on’. I know that this was the reason, but her lack of willingness to tell the truth at the appropriate time weakened my belief that I could have a satisfying friendship with her.

Now I want to just focus on myself and not think about her as I feel I would be doing great injustice to myself(which I already have, to some extent) by not setting up appropriate boundaries.

I am starting to believe that past pain is no longer a reason for her to avoid introspection and caring about others. I told this to her as well that this excuse of her : ” I am like this only. Maybe due to my upbringing.I like small talk only.I don’t feel the need to justify my thoughts and actions.” is not a reason for her to do whatever she feels like. I don’t know if she would act on it or not. When she called me, she did ask me about whether she could do anything for me repeatedly so I thought that yes even she cares for me but may be that was to get rid off her guilt as she told me that my talk about feeling sad etc. made her guilty. So I was confused what to make of her. Does she care or does she not?

But I am now starting to heal a bit and hoping that one day I might get the answer for her behavior. It does not sound good but sometimes I just feel like hurting her for what she did to me, not physically but through harsh words. I know I wouldn’t do that as it would cause more pain to me later on and also the guilt, but just thinking about it lessens the pain somewhat.

Is this normal?

• This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by Abhi09.