Axel

Despite the fact that you think it’s all resolved I very much fear for you, and your happiness with your wife.
It’s easy to think that the infatuation is dead and buried after 4/5 months but unless you completely and utterly remove yourself from ALL (and I mean ALL) contact with the object of your crush there’s always the chance that it will reignite- please, please, please for the sake of your marriage do completely sever your contact with Liz now, yes now – send that email right now. Tell her no more contact ever, ever, ever; I can’t emphasise enough how important this is.

What you innocently describe as ‘butterflies’ (which we often associate with pleasantries and excitement) is actually anxiety- a physical symptom of a medical condition which can escalate into a debilitating illness and develop into depression, bad experiences with antidepressants and even suicidal ideation and hospitalisation.

The thing about being anxious about situations you know are wrong (but THINK you are controlling)is that it can escalate and take hold of you without you knowing and develop into panic attacks which come and get you from out of the blue; these can completely frighten and floor you and stop you from functioning properly at everyday tasks (never mind work/employment). You can find yourself wondering where these debilitating attacks are coming from as they strike at any time (not just when you’re thoughts are with the object of your crush) but completely unexpectedly when you’re driving, cooking, with other people or at any random time- honestly.They can be so random that at first you won’t even associate them with your feelings for your crush- especially if you think the ‘danger’ is over.
Despite your thinking you are safe now- believe me, you are far from it. Please let your wife read this- and Liz. You are all very much still in danger as long as you’re still in contact with Liz. This sounds harsh but it’s so true: your wife is being very naive- you all are- if you think that you’re all now on safe ground. You could still be in danger of suffering the loss of everyone and everything you care about. Although this seems far-fetched, I’m not exaggerating; this can and has really happened and I want to educate everyone I possibly can on this extremely dangerous, potentially life-changing, life ruining relationship status.
I don’t believe it’s truly possible to get over an infatuation and preserve the friendship (even if you THINK you have)- and by the way, eight months is a minuscule amount of time to think you’ve proved that the title of this thread is possible. Even years and years later, if you hold onto that friendship, it’s ALWAYS possible that, even if you think you’re living in ‘peace’ with your situation that a ‘butterfly’ or real panic attack will affect you out of the blue. Once that happens you can find yourself pretty powerless to prevent yourself spiralling into very ill mental health (check out anxiety and depression on Google and see how frightening it is and how easily it becomes out of your control). Honestly, it staggers me that I have read a thousand posts on this subject and they never mention the dangers of mental illness- it’s a very real possibility for someone starting out on an infatuation.
Please, please have self respect and end it now and forever- completely- before it’s too late and you’ve lost your mental health and everything that was dear to you…

• This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by Juliet.