Dear Tsukushi:
He is 100% responsible for his participation in every interaction with you and with any other and you are 100% responsible for yours. For the relationship with him, as it was in the past and as it is not, you are 50% responsible and he is 50% responsible. He is not the Bad Guy and you are not the Good Guy (girl). You both created this unfortunate situation TOGETHER.

Your yes may be yes and your no may be no at this point and on- and i hope it is, but it wasn’t so before. With a firm no, which is your position now- i hope you do your best to a smooth as possible transition toward a separation. Do your best, being completely responsible for what YOU do from now on, that is taking full responsibility for your participation in any and every interaction with him. Best wishes for all of you, especially for your kids- take good care of them!!!
anita