Dear Blessing, Good morning.
How are you today? How was the last evening?
yeah, I like this… I know its bit tough, but I m sure not tougher than thinking and feeling unimportant. I don’t like the kind of state I was into. Mind is all the time running and getting nothing out of it. So its better to relax and feel easy, things are not that big, but the way we perceive them makes it bigger. Like today when I was getting into the car, my husband was coming to drop me, the moment i was just getting into the car, he started I do not know he did intentionally to hurt me or what, but he didnt even apologize there after. I felt bad, i remain quiet for sometime, but he initiated conversation, small small questions, he actually wanted to know that again I might have made a face, or reacted to this and not gonna answer him well. initially i felt bad about his behaviour but then I realized if I continue to show this attitude, he will turn off soon and then I wont have time and energy to make him understand and later on ending up apologizing that it was my fault so I gave up. And forgot instantly what happened and started talking to him.
Like we do not have same working hours, and day before yesterday he said that we do not get to spend much time together, on wednesday we will have lunch together. I will come to your office, and now I know he just says things for the heck of saying, he forgets completely after that. So as usual, last night when I was preparing for my lunch for wednesday, I knew he would not remember that, so I made my lunch, because If i say something or express or ask for something I think he takes it in different way, or probably he does not like it. So i ignored that, thought of not bringing to his notice, but I mentioned todday at bed tea that glad i have made lunch , so told him that you said we will have lunch together. He said so what big deal I can come and we can have lunch together. I said na thats fine, because he has one exam to appear for on this coming friday. I told him do not waste your time, as every hour is precious to you, so spend it wisely by studying.
So I have started taking things in a positive way, these are minute things and I know they save alot of time and energy and in return you get a healthy relationship. Thats what I am looking for.
Controlling my mind and working on that. Trying to spend and talk to my friends, spending alone time with myself, yesterday I meditated for about half an hour. My monthly cycle has delayed this time, hope nothing that sorts. Crossing my fingers for that, will get the tests done hopefully this weekend. I do not want that now, I have already had one abortion that just right after my marriage, just a month later and second was a miscarriage 4 months back.
Anyways “Feeling better, Getting Better and Staying better” — Thats the motto.

Looking forward to hear from you

thanks for being there blessing.
Stay blessed
Take good care of yourself.