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Dear andrew132:
You wrote: “How are you finding that your no longer an island? I feel its constantly me vrs the world. I want to feel part of it rather than on the side line being dominated by everybody’s actions.”
I can write so much about my experiences in healing (still ongoing) from alienation to .. integration. This is what you are looking for, sin’t it? Yet, nothing that I type here is going to do it for you. This is so sad for me because I wish I can transfer what I learned, inject it into someone else. The problem is that the answer, the kind of knowing, the ONLY kind of knowing that will make a difference is the kind that you experience yourself. Until you FEEL the truth of something, you do not really KNOW it is true. And until you feel it, this or that is just something someone else is saying, something you read or hear, goes in and out the brain and makes no difference.
Sometimes something you read makes you go: Hmmm, I think there is something there. And most often you forget about it, don’t you?
Having typed all this i will still answer your question knowing the great limitation in my answer: I find that I am no longer an island as I learn that it is okay and safe enough for me to feel what I feel and that I no longer have to live like a “leaf in the wind”- like I lived, dominated by others’ actions and by random circumstances. There is nothing that feels better than finding out: Ahhh- I do have some power, I can… make a difference (in my OWN life).
Let me know if there is something else..
anita