Hi jj2013,
OK, some of the advice you may not like, but it can be kind of relevant in other aspects of life. Here we go:
1. Your DH was a little too immature to get married. Sure, he was the right age, but boys take a little longer to mature. Even in the ancient world in China he would still be (naturally) a momma’s boy no matter who his mother was. My own DH was devoted to his mother and she was revered. Thankfully for me, she was “normal”.
2. When you marry a person you are related to his family. You cannot make him “choose”. You’re asking him to make a choice where there is no choice.
3. Don’t lend money a second time. When you lend money (the first and only time) often, sadly, it turns into a “gift”. You may never see the money again. Let it go.
4. HE can deal with his family all he wants. YOU don’t have to deal with them at all! Tell him that you are taking a “break” from THEM. He can visit, but YOU do not want to hear about it OR hear what they have to say OR what they have done. You are jamming in your own happy universe!
5. Move back with your DH. You are his wife. Don’t let “them” win! YES, you CAN have your own happy marriage and not deal with them at all!
6. Train your DH to text them only once a day, call them only once a week and visit them only once a month for HIS OWN mental health reasons. TRAVEL during the holidays, see YOUR family, OR host your OWN dinner in your OWN house! If he wants to see them, though, HE can! I come from a “broken home” and am used to celebrating holidays NOT on the actual holiday!!
7. The ex… phhht, please! She will forever be in the wings with the mother and is probably not even interested! Let the mother have her fantasy!
8. Most of this problem will go away when you MOVE.
Blessings,
Inky
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