Hello Carlos,

Jodi has given you excellent advice in the comments. She said that she needs to “figure herself out and why she can’t advance in this block. I mean for her to just friendzone me must be a sign of pushing me away.” Yes, her friend zoning you is a way of pushing you away. I’ve realized a couple of things in these types of situations, they may or may not apply to you. It may feel as if to her that you don’t love her enough to let her be on her own or that you are forcing her to stay with you. She has been hurt in other relationships and was slowly making her way back. You said that you have been “patient” and I understand how difficult it is to be patient. In your mind, do you expect her to reciprocate your feelings because you have been patient? Although it can be frustrating being with someone who is unsure of their feelings, it can leave us waiting for the other person to reciprocate before we give ourselves to them again. She has to work on these things on her own in terms of fear of flying, fear of relationships, insecurity, and negative thoughts. She is right that only she can figure out what is making her feel this way. Sometimes people are not afraid of relationships themselves, but more the type of feelings that arise from the relationship (these can be both good and bad). She may be afraid that things are going too well and that may be new for her so she pushed you away first or she fears that something bad will happen and she will hurt you so she pushed you away.

You said, “The last thing I said was when you know what you really want and figure things out and change your mind then contact me.” Although I can see that you care about her deeply and want to be with her, to her it may seem as if you are putting her under an obligation to return or remain in the relationship. I may be wrong, but you two may be misunderstanding each other’s words/intentions.