Hey Anne, I hope you are having a good day!Anytime that she felt scared or distant I would immediately notice and just let her come to me. As time passes she would message me and things would go back to normal. She is a very jealous person but during our last conversation where she friendzoned me, she talked about why she was always jealous and she came to the conclusion that she couldn’t understand why some other girls could be just your friend and not her and in a way she wanted to just have what we have only with her. She wanted to always go out with me as friends. Then she went on about how we are both almost 30 years old and there is no point wasting our time with something that is not going to evolve. I get what she is saying and in this moment it is not possible to evolve because of these mental blocks. The only situation that I did that was a mistake was I lied to her about something and she was upset about it which made her more cautious. I apologized, gave her space and things were okay afterwards and we continued the relationship like normal but would be very hesitant. She says that she tried and tried but her feelings never changed to evolve into more and she can’t feel something in general. About a 4 months ago she was feeling sad and before we finally started going out she said to me that she is a closed person and she just doesn’t feel the same way about people. From animals, to family to people and especially herself. How can she love someone if she cannot love herself. I am the last person to play games with someone. I love her and would want a future with her. Only time and space can solve this, or so I hope it does. If I was able to get her to open up and try then I am sure if she was feeling better that things would work. It is up to her though. I didn’t use to be patient. We are both the same age but I have life experience that helps me be mature and patient about things. I was in the Marine Corps and went to War, I was married before already and now moving to another country adds another experience. One issue that seemed to resonate with her is issues of the past. Having a negative feeling that the past will always come back to bite her in the ass. That I somehow still have feelings for my past and that just gave her ammunition to create something to push me away. Of course those things were created in her mind and not something that I put out there. At this moment she pushed me a way, told me she only sees me as a friend and that the relationship can’t go on because she needs to figure herself out. Wants to know if it is her the problem or if it is me. My gut feeling tells me that it is not about me. She definitely has feelings for me of other than friendship. For her to open up to me, to do all the things we do and the way we talked to each other only happens if there is attraction and you like each other. Etc sex, kissing, our cute nicknames, the way we interacted with each other. Things that “Friends” don’t do. She used to say that we have different feelings and that is something she wanted to change but couldn’t. I love her but I never wanted her to just love me quickly. That is something that happens over time especially with someone like her where “love” is something hard for her to just give because it would leave her completely vulnerable to get hurt again. Anything to risk and have something backfire is something on her mind.

Lastly, in the heat of the break up I hinted on that maybe I won’t be here anymore at the end of the year and just go back to Chicago. Thinking things clearly now, I have no intentions to go back. I enjoy living here and I really want to work things out with her and marry her one day.