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Hi,
I am feeling rather unsuccessful and rather lost at the moment.
I am 31, living back at home with a dad who is closed off and I was made redundant a few months ago from a job I didn’t like, but it was a salary. My boyfriend of almost 5 years broke up with me about 6 weeks ago and I have very low self esteem and am an introvert.
I have had a difficult path to work and lost a lot of confidence in myself in not being able to get a great job or one that pays well and I had to do a lot of temping which I feel makes me a failure because I couldn’t secure a permanent job in the first place.
I am doing all the right things to make things better for myself. I go to the gym everyday, I go to counselling, I apply for jobs and I am trying to secure some volunteering. I am also working on some hobbies of mine, but I just worry I will always be stuck unemployed and living at home with a dad who can’t communicate to me. Plus I am 31 and desperate to leave.
I also don’t have a great social network as I have always chosen rubbish friends who have treated me badly so don’t have friends to spend time with.
I also find many of the people I meet don’t really care about much. I have always cared deeply about helping other people and will always try and volunteer where possible and do the best for other people as I particularly like helping young people but I haven’t met others who share these principles. That makes me sad and makes me feel like an oddity.
I am also coming to terms with an ex who perhaps didn’t really care about me for a long time, but I was so scared to acknowledge that that I stayed in the relationship.
If anyone has any words of wisdom it would be really helpful. Thanks for reading. x