Dear Rookie:

You are welcome! Further input: regarding above “not OK to be lonely.” Taking literally, it is OK to be lonely: it is OK to feel lonely and whatever it is that you feel at any moment. Every emotion has a valid message- it is about knowing that massage. Trying to change a feeling any which way or repressing it trying to “be positive”- is not the way to go. Every feeling is valid, has a valid reason, no matter how negative it feels, even distressing, even hateful, jealous feelings. If you find out that valid message behind an emotion you will be relieved, as in: “Oh, I see, I understand.”

People feel “secondary emotions” about their (primary) emotions, for example: shame over feeling jealous of another. Or fear over feeling…. fear or anger. If you stay with the primary feeling and decipher its message…

You will often find out it is about you wanting to be loved, wanting or needing to be taken care of. And it is often a reaction to past events, giving you the message that certain hurts need to be acknowledged, by you. A message can be that you need to assert yourself with a particular person.

Hope you post again on this thread. Will look for new postings, anytime.

anita