Dear pikachemew2:

I wanted to go over your original post and point to your mother’s abusive ways:calling you degrading names, telling you that you can’t do anything right, arguing with your father in front of you, pressuring you to hate your father, yelling at you, telling you not to tell anyone about (anything, particularly what she was doing to you), threatening you with being taken away from her (in reality, not a bad thing, but very scary to a child), hitting you, especially into your mid teens, not noticing or caring that you were considering suicide, denying your reality, that is denying that she was abusing you and that you were abused, blaming you for you being abused by her, telling you that you were handful (as if there is something wrong with you and that you brought undo stress on her, stress she just had to release somehow, poor her the “victim”- switching reality: claiming you are guilty and she is your victim when in reality it is exactly the opposite), blocking your way when you tried to leave the apartment.

I am very familiar with a mother acting all so nice to others- see she is a bully, acting aggressively with those weaker than her, a child is the easiest prey. Your father, well, you wrote that he is weak.

I do hope you get away from your mother as soon as you can. The fact that she is sometimes kind means nothing at all since everyone- no matter how cruel and how many people they killed- everyone is sometimes kind.

Don’t let that confuse you. Everyone hurts and everyone is sometimes kind but not everyone hurts others, not repeatedly, like your mother has and still hurts you.

I would aim toward ending all communication with your mother as soon as is possible and spend no energy whatsoever on changing her. That will be a lifetime waste. You are 17, figure this now, not when you are 71, or as some never do.

anita