Hi Mefisto!

I will try to answer you paragraph by paragraph so I hope it will make some sense because your post is very long (definetely absolutely nothing wrong with it. :))

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2.I went through only one heartbreak so I cant really say how intense anything should be but from talking to people I would say that the wiser you get the more it hurts. That might seem counter-intuitive but just stay with me. The older you get the more you know yourself and what you want out of a relationship, so I would say you give more of yourself to the other person and show more of your true colors, which seems to me is especially true in your case. So I would not fret over your hurt. It is perfectly natural and normal.

3. I would say that the difference in accepting and wallowing in the pain is what you do with it. When you accept your feelings you unerstand it is a perfectly natural reaction to the situation and that it may be debilitating but you keep living your life despite the pain. By wallowing you just take the excuse the pain gives you to put your life on hold. By living on you start to heal.

4. I would not use any medication. I had a terrible time sleeping for the first week. But eventually the pain subsided and sleep came naturally again. If you use medicine it might become a crutch and this causes problems by itself.

5. I understand the issue of loneliness. This was my biggest hurdle. When you go out you soon realize there is no one like your ex and you think this sucks. But what I soon found out is that this is actually a good thing. The thing with your ex did not go very well did it! You soon find out that not all people are created equal in reference to your life. Some may be your best friends. There might be people who you only see once a month. There may be people who you only party with. There may be people who you can talk to about your intelectual desires. Anyway. There are different people (which is a great thing) and you can learn a great deal from just about any of them if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open. The loneliness will subside in a while. Just go out and do life. Do what you love just for the sake of it. In hindsight my greatest breakthrough came about 1 month after my break-up when I decided that I will become the best version of myself and this still gives me consolation in moments of emotional turmoil, whether it is in regard to my ex or to some unrelated situation. When you have a relationship with the most important person in the world you will not feel lonely (maybe at times, but not in general) and that person is you.

6. I dont know about this particular movie but I am sure it cant hurt in the long haul. After my break up I sometimes force-fed myself with songs, movies or places that I frequented with my ex. Sure it was terrible at first, but I refused to let my past keep hold of me. I would not miss lifes simple pleasures like having a drink with my best friend at my favourite bar or just listen to good music played by her favourite band. So I whink you should watch the movie. You will surely survive it and bit by bit you will realize you are stronger than what you think of yourself.

7. This is very normal. Believe me! 🙂 It shall pass.

8. I went thorugh several cycles. I at first saw my ex very negativly. After very positivly, then negativly… What all these cycles have in common is that they get weaker with every pass. Now I am in a place where I think I can see my ex the way she was. She was a great girl but we were definetely not meant to be togehter. I deserve something more. Not in the sense she was not good enough, but just, more for me. I would call this stage acceptance and as you know with your first girlfriend it will come for you too. About social sites… You cant see peoples personalities on there so this should not have any leverage to your decision making.

9. I dont really know what to tell you about this one. If you do more to better yourself this issue will surely get better. When you realize it was just not meant to be this feeling will fade.

I hope it was helpful.

Matic