Dear starfish2111:

My input is regarding the following: you wrote that you “love his family” and that his parents were “slightly abusive” and that he “holds on to a lot of his past and is learning to let go of his traumas” and that you “want to be there for him

You may have to choose between loving him OR loving his family: if his family (parents, I suppose) were abusive to him and there hasn’t been real repair in their relationship and you encourage, support their relationship then you are undermining him. Can’t have it both ways, is my input.

anita