* littlemermaud01:

You wrote: “Moms are only human. If your mom treats you badly, it might be because someone treated her badly too and that is the only way that she knows how to express anger and stress and all those negative emotions”-

It is not true that “that is the only way that she (an abusive mother) knows how to express anger and stress..” because an abusive mother is abusive to a weak and dependent child and often nice to her peers, neighbors, employers, siblings…anyone not weak and dependent on her. So in being nice to stronger people and abusive to her child, an abusive mother DOES KNOW A DIFFERENT WAY.

Dear pikachumew2: Again, I agree with your positions that your abusive mother indeed is making her choices and that her suffering is no excuse and that she may never change (very, very unlikely). The fact that she is stressed makes no difference on how hurtful and damaging her abuse is on her own children. It hurts just the same no matter her motivations.

I believe that a daughter excusing her own mother’s behavior will lead to the daughter abusing her future daughter. You have to take a strong position, as an abused daughter, against the abuser, mother or not, so to treat yourself well and not abuse your future children, if you choose to have those.

anita