Dear toddinrochester:

“Beth” I suppose didn’t own her voices. I just re-read your other post, how at one moment, you took your power away from the voices, how you OWNED them. And over time, after that, you took your power back from those voices again and again, grounding yourself as the owner of all parts of your psyche.

Beth, without psychosis on the extreme part of the continuum, probably have voices, one saying: “I want to marry you and have your babies.” Another saying, maybe: “I want to get away from you and never see you again”- I am only guessing about the latter: I am not in her head… and neither are you. But she felt comfortable telling you about the wanting to marry you but probably uncomfortable reporting to you the other things. It probably occurred to her: I don’t want to marry him”- but she didn’t want to tell you. And so she went on the dating thing and said things to you where truth and lies mixed.

It may not be “Then one day. Court happens..” Just like you, toddinrochester, held a job and people didn’t know about the voices in your head, so did she tell you only of some of her voices some of the time. You are trying to connect the dots with the info you have.

This is where honesty comes handy, asking honestly and answering honestly- takes away from the guessing game and the many incorrect connecting the dots. She may be running around confused herself with her voices, giving in to one at one time and to another at another time. In any case, she is not well.

Take care of yourself and I hope the next woman you do get involved with owns her voices like you own yours and that you are both honest and transparent with each other.

anita