So I met, lets call her “beth”, on a dating site. It was instantaneous attraction. I fell for her, fast. Her past like mine and it all clicked. She however had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. One that was physical and mental. I have not been in a serious relationship in five years. I needed most of that time to work on myself as I have a storied past that I needed to look at and look at honestly. The flags that I now know started pretty fast. The “I feel like I don’t deserve you”, “You are the nicest guy I met”, “I am going to marry you and have your babies”. And I took it all in and whispered to myself that this, this girl right here was why I was single for so long. That this is how it happens. Everything is fantastic. She moves some stuff in for sleepovers and its great. I meet her family and she meets mine. She self confesses to being a ruminator and also self destructing relationships. She also runs if someone good comes along. Sept 11th she has to face her ex in court. That day my life changed. She stated that she shouldn’t be in a relationship. That its not fair to drag me along with her through this. That I am nice guy and she doesn’t want to hurt me. We both cry uncontrolled as she gets her stuff. She is literally wailing. I have never,ever heard someone cry like this. Ever. Refuses to talk. States it will make her sad. I personally hate texting for emotional stuff. Few days go by. We agree not to talk because she gets “sad and upset” when we do. We try for a break in talking but I am genuinely concerned with her well being. She is losing her ability to work for 3 months she is losing her ability to drive for three months and in all has a lot going on. I get a weird feeling one day. I hop on the dating site we met on. My profile deleted. Hers is active. And has been throughout our relationship. Hop on match. Active within 24 hours. I get this pit. That feeling in your stomach where you just want to throw up but know that you have not eaten a thing in three days so you can’t. Just hurts. I ask her about it. She said she is only on there to read the emails. She isn’t ready to date. I get more confused because that simply doesn’t make sense. This is the girl that told me I was everything she had been waiting for and was never happier. She wanted to marry me. See’s her ex and then my life changes. And is back on dating sites already while I am missing work because I can’t leave bed.
She tells me she doesn’t like even responding to my texts because it makes her sad. So I ask why. She replies “Because of your past I get concerned”. I had a few suicide attempts in my past. It was a long time ago and I currently volunteer as an advocate for Suicide prevention. I was floored. She has a history of substance and alcohol abuse and the last thing I would have said to her was “Drinking or doing drugs again?”. I rarely give all of my heart to someone. She got it all and fast. 1 month. Then one day. Court happens and she said that she thought that part of her life was behind her and its not now. My life changes.

• This topic was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Todd.
• This topic was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Todd.