I’m single for the first time in my life and I find it freeing. Yes I miss the last chap and I happen to be going over to New Zealand to see him again and we’re both incredibly excited but there’s a good chance it will be closure and I’m going with my own needs in mind. I entered his bubble last time but now if he wants to see me he can come into my bubble. #

What is amazing about being single though is learning about what make you happy? You don’t realise until you’re ion that situation how long and how much of your life you’ve spent making someone else happy in the mistaken belief that that was what YOU wanted. Ha! NO!

Yes there are the things about having to smell someone else’s farts in bed. Revolting! suddenly never being allowed to cook carrots for dinner because he doesn’t like them. so what if you want to watch three hours of crap tv. and no football. never worrying if you’re being cheated on because there’s no one to cheat on you

so… what do I like? you think ? Do I like walking> we never did when he was around.. I don’t know, let’s put the wellies on and see,
Do I want to learn something? um.. I might just do a night class. I didn’t know I wanted that for myself.

I think… I wonder what it feels like to take a newspaper and sit quietly in a sunny pub garden and drink a slow pint? (A LOVE OF MINE) – he was always with me and chatted endless boringness – I wont miss that.

stuff and stuff and stuff

these teeny little scientific experiments of life will show you the way – it might just show you what you don’t like but even that’s big progress.