Dear jack and pomplemous:

Thank you for your replies. I have an answer to my own question (surprising? I think not…):

Once a child victim, that is a victim in ones formative years, an ongoing victim, long enough to be significantly damaged, then always a victim, that is the consequences of that damage will always be there to some extent, something to deal with lifetime.

The consequences do not go away, not magically by reaching 18 or 21… or 121.

And they do not disappear with healing, no matter how much healing. One cannot make himself or herself “as good as new”- that is re-make oneself as if no abuse has happened. It is impossible to erase or undo past abuse.

It is possible to grow from it, like an injured tree branch, bent, growing in a new direction, maybe 90 degrees from the directions other branches are growing, yet it grows and it catches you eye when you look at it in the forest…

As to material success, it is what it is: material success. Robin Williams was as famous as Oprah and like her he didn’t work for minimum wage for a long time. He had enough money for any and all therapy available yet he chose to hang himself. So, material success and fame of an international magnitude is just that. There is plenty of misery in the world of the rich and famous- it makes sense to me- because suicide is just the visible crust of that misery we, ‘regular folks” can hear about.

It would be an unrealistic expectation for any child victim to foresee a time in the future where it would be like “nothing happened.” Or that there will be a time in the future where nothing (negative consequences of the abuse) will be happening.

Any thoughts on this?

anita