Did your over sensitivity dispel that love? Make it go away? Miss it so it was left behind?

I know my parents love was unconditional but my older brothers was not. They were like bosses who were never satisfied and gave you low scores on performance appraisals. I think I have unconsciously tried to live up to their expectations all my life. Also being sensitive, I felt their judgements of me harsher than say my younger brothers who were less touchy. I’ve always had a “junior” mentality in their presence. I’m sure a lot of people know what I’m saying who grew up in families as the younger sibling. The younger one is trained to look up and respect the older one(s). In that way, you tend to doubt your own capacity for decisions..”let the older sibling decide, he knows better”.
Confidence is my problem. Especially social confidence. Not self-love.