Dear Anita,
when I read your post I get the impression that you feel a lot of regret over what you did. But looking at it, you also have come so far: You apologized and also tried to make amends. I believe that regret is only useful when it leads to change of behavior, and it did for you, didn’t it? Or would you leave that boy crying at home again?
Maybe it’s time for you to move on, like Jack said. David D. Burns wrote in “Feeling good”:
“If you did something damaging, do you deserve to suffer? If you think “yes”, then ask yourself: ‘How long do I have to suffer? A day? A year? The rest of my life?’ Which punishment would you give yourself? Are you ready to end your choosen suffering and unhappiness, after you fullfilled your punishment?” (Really rough translation, sorry no english copy here)