Dear strider:

You learned then that getting married, the ceremony that is and the title “married” did not change your yearnings for solitude and did not change your feelings to the woman you married from love to “being in love”.

Wouldn’t it be a disaster if you think that having a baby will make these kinds of changes? Not at all likely. Most likely NOT. So I hope you don’t go experimenting with parenting as a way to fix your emotional experiences! I mean, you can transfer a lesson from one experience, the marriage, to a potential another experience,parenting. Many, many people falsely think that having a child will solve their problems and again and again it does not, and a new child is brought into a less than desirable situation.

There are two issues here otherwise: your yearnings for solitude on one hand and your unmet need for that stimulating “in love” feelings and interactions. The first, yearnings for solitude, maybe within your marriage you can further increase your solitude, your alone time?

There are things for you to dig out and examine about yourself. Maybe in the context of psychotherapy. If not, you can write more here and I will try to help you dig out and examine. Who you are… what you need.

anita