Dear Strider,

These feelings after a really long time relationship do happen, particularly when something as game-changing as marriage happens – we see the person in their full colors, parts of them we like, some we dont – the important thing here is to consider what we would feel if they were no longer there around us. This woman in the office is someone you know in a rather one-dimensional way – there is a degree of pleasant infatuation but here’s the thing, you dont really know her outside work. What would really happen if you tell her anyway? Say she accepts your feelings, that would mean consequences because you are married. If you told your wife and she is fine with this possible relationship, then there is no element of lying here.

But if your crush says no, then things will get weird between you two after she leaves cuz you are the married guy who asked her out. I know i may sound judgy in some way or the other, but trust me, this is just a crush. You hardly know this person anyway. However, the question that you arent looking into is communicating your needs effectively to your partner. If you crave solitude, find ways to meet those needs and share those thoughts with your partner. They’ve been there for you for so many years and i dunno how fair it is to let an infatuation sway you so much, particularly if you dont know the person that well anyway.

Regards,
Moon