Dear wow90:

You are welcome. So how are you feeling today/ tonight?

I noticed that when I stop being afraid of being afraid and stay with the first fear, well, it is not so bad.

When I feel fear and think: what is happening to me? What is going to happen to me? How bad are things going to get? those thoughts increase my fear. Two things: feeling fear is scary in itself. Then thought make me more and more afraid.

It is hard for me to explain. i will try: there is the primary fear, that is just being afraid, and then there is the secondary fear, that is feeling fear about the primary fear. This secondary fear escalates with catastrophizing thinking and the result paralysis.

Notice where in your body you feel fear, where in your body does it hurt, or feels hot or cold, how is your breathing…: this is fear. Then think: I can endure this, I can endure this pain here, and this heat there (take off a sweater, let’s say) and I can endure this sensation here. This is me enduring fear.

Then block the catastrophizing thoughts: when afraid it is not the time to analyze, not effective. So don’t try.

Then say: I can handle this (primary) fear. I am not afraid of this fear, it is not dangerous to me (this sensation, this pain here is not dangerous, not fatal(

And you adopt an attitude of courage regarding the primary fear. You are afraid let’s say of let’s say being unemployed and not being able to pay your bills, but you are no longer afraid of being afraid (of not paying the bills).

…?
anita