* Thank you jittery jack! Nice to see your comment (Running around Renee took me for a short walk in the light rain and I am back).

Dear Jack:

By the time someone in real life criticises me I am so out of shape and exhausted from the ongoing daily ANTICIPATION of criticism that I take a leave of my senses when criticism really happens. Or I am so numb I don’t feel it (I dissociate). So yes, the Inner Critic (my Mary and her bloody sisters) do magnify others’ criticism so much that I panic or dissociate because of the overwhelm factor.

Yes, the Internal Critic is way, way worse than real life criticisers in an adult life in the great majority of instances and the reason is that

The internal Critic whole LIFE is about criticizing us and other people have their own lives. Our internal Critic has our eyes as its eyes, our ears as its ears. Our Internal Critic has ongoing, non stop access to viewing our bodies and viewing other people’s faces as they look at us, hearing their tone of voice as they talk to us, all the Internal Critic attention and focus is on its job and it is very dedicated and hard working. Other people don’t have our eyes, ears, etc. and often are not that hard working and dedicated about criticizing us. They have their own lives.

SO yes, the internal bully is worse than external bullies in the great majority of the times (exceptions in adulthood are … SS guards during WW2 and violent crimes…)

A lot of things wake up the internal critic IF he or she is asleep (Yours is? Mine hardly takes a break), the anticipation of criticism for one. The anticipation is worse than the actual, because the anticipation has no time limit.

anita