Melissa,

I am sorry for your suffering.

Consider that all human beings begin life as amateur chefs. Hence, naturally, until we become well-seasoned, until we’ve tasted an adequate amount of flavors to distinguish those ingredients necessary to make our lives tasteful, we are certainly and undoubtedly going to initially struggle.

Indeed the experience you had was an unfortunate and somber one. However, you now know that this is one flavor that will not make it to your full course. On our journeys, we are all going to encounter our shares of distasteful things but we must recognize and wholly understand that it is these exact events which aid us in distinguishing the good flavors from the bad. Dwelling on the past is not incorrect, however, only if done so proactively to the benefit of our futures. No master (at their craft) dwell on past unfortunate events to hinder their advancement. Your life is too important to do such. In this one existence, don’t you believe you possess the right(s) to fully pursue your own definition of beautiful despite the adversities? As for your ex, please do your best to keep a compassionate heart and forgive him. He, too, is working on his own full course and making the necessary mistakes required to create his own masterpiece. It is indeed sad that other beings must be hurt for him to reach his goals however please recall that we are all raised in our own unique environments which may not always obtain all of the necessary elements to conceive compassionate and considerate human beings. The fault, therefore, cannot be fully blamed on him. Find closure in thanking him for the necessary lessons you’ve learned and wish for his well being for not just his but also your sake. Condoning him for his actions will only yield in added chaos to your already troubled soul. Instead, exercise the beautiful being you are and that your parents helped culture and pray for his well being.

My friend, there are many flavors and flavor combinations you’ve yet to taste. Find and release your desire to taste them all to burst so at the end you may be at peace and satisfied with the full course you’ve created.

I hope this helps and please forgive any grammatical errors.

Al