* Dear Inky: I was just thinking before I read your latest post about what you meant with the first people on one’s side thing. I was following what I believe your train of thought was and I am getting your point better, that is to be open more to the idea that … more people are on my side, or less people are against me. That too is realistic, because often enough it is inaccurate projections, as in hypervigilance, imagining others are trying to hurt us when they are not.

I suppose seeing both sides of reality: there are people against me but not as many or as often as I think there are. Be a bit more optimistic but … no way I will eliminate my pessimism.

Regarding the Real Deal BF: Again, context is crucial here. If the girlfriend and the relationship is true and honest and real, if both sides are real and it is a win-win, both benefiting the other in deep and meaningful ways, then yes, lay down your life for the other, but not otherwise! Context, context, context.

Thank you Inky for helping me realize the importance of context this very morning for one…

anita