Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for the reply- I’m sorry about the delay, my computer was gone for repairs. I think you really hit the nail on the head! Several terrible things have happened in my past, such as being sexually assaulted when I was younger- the police never found the culprit and just closed the case. Those events really scarred me, but funnily at the time I felt no emotion. It wasn’t until a year after it had happened that I started to get very angry. I lost a lot of my friends, was constantly bombarded with suicidal thoughts and I gave up many things I loved such as music and art. It didn’t help that I had extremely strict parents that would make me feel completely small and unwanted. Anyway, without making it sound like too much of a sob story, yes, certain things have happened to me that have filled several years of my life with anger so it’s completely possible that I project it onto my boyfriend. I know in my heart that it really isn’t fair on him. Haha, but you’re right, I love his assertion too! He really opened my eyes to my behaviour when he told me that. Both of us have followed your advice and are tying to communicate respectfully and openly, so thank you.

Now my only problem is- how do I get over the anger from my past so that it doesn’t affect our potentially amazing future together? All i do is blame myself for being abused.

Thank you, from Theresa