Dear Divya:

You wrote in your original post above: ” I have never received an environment from my family or friends where I could feel I was worthy and I don’t feel it within myself either.” Later you wrote about needing to be emotionally independent, that all you need is for you to show compassion to you.

Notice this: you were emotionally independent all along, that is, ON YOUR OWN, alone in the context of your family. You were not inter-dependent with them. You were very much on your own, independent. That did NOT work out and never does because a child needs that inter-dependence, needs compassion from another, from a parent.

If a child could produce his or her own compassion as a child, not needing it from a parent, well, the world would have been a much better place. The child has NO CHOICE but to receive compassion from a parent, a care taker. Otherwise, there is none. As an adult, you still can’t produce it. You have to interact with others. We are social beings, our interactions is a crucial part of who we are.

So you have to get compassion from another or others. Your family are not on your side, never have been. I wish you could or would physically distant yourself from them. that you would go to therapy if available, get the compassion of a good therapist and choose people in your life who will.

anita