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Hey Infralugel!
I split up with my boyfriend of 4 years about 14 months ago. I can promise the pain decreases slowly everyday. But in regards to your question whether I look back and feel sadness, I would say yes. Not sadness because I long for him back. But sadness that we are no longer those people anymore. In my head, I know the people we are now could never be together, and it makes me sad that those feelings and experiences can never be recreated, even if we both wanted to. With this feeling also comes a relief. It is beyond my control. There isn’t anything I can possibly do to reconnect, once I had realised this I stopped emotionally exhausting myself trying to work it out or trying to come up with a way to win him back. Accepting the past cannot be changed, and as devastating as it is, it’s a huge lesson to learn. You are a different person now, this experience has changed you. The new you deserves to be happy and looking at the past will not allow you to find someone who deserves your love.
Kate x