* More: there doesn’t have to be horrendous abuse for a child to grow up scared and alone. It is amazing to me, and so very sad, to realize how “little” it takes for a child to be so horrendously alone and afraid. It doesn’t take being locked in a closet or burned on a stove top or being sexually abused. All it takes is a father who doesn’t SEE the child, doesn’t VALUE the child’s love, doesn’t SEE how much the child needs the parent to notice… how much you needed your cold father to notice you. He came back from work day after day, complaining, unhappy and what you needed was a father coming back from work saying: where is my son? And looking in your eyes with a calm smile, happy to see you. And when you tried to please him in the thousands “little” ways that you did, you needed him to say: I see you love me, son. I see you are a loving little boy. I like you. You make me happy. I am happy to have you in my life.

It doesn’t take headline grabbing abuse. It takes a boy’s love for his dad to go unnoticed.

I don’t understand how a parent can be so blind, day after day, decade after decade and never get it.

Please post more, if you will, and regarding the ego…
anita