Hi,
My husband cheated on me 7 years after our love marriage while I was away for my delivery. Things had always been just perfect for me all these years , lots of love , trust and respect despite so many obstacles and I was on top of the world. I never even expected that such a thing would ever even happen with me. Totally shattered after I came to know about this infedility when I was back home with a 4 month old little baby angel. It all turned out be the result of some bad intuitions I had been experiencing just before I went back home. It has been a hell for me to stay with him since then and is almost over an year now . He also had to confess helplessly and made several promises not to repeat this. Can’t understand whether to blindly trust him or not like before. I never trusted him after that horrible encounter and am facing a lot of pain,stress and anxiety due to all this. Just as I think that everything is back to normal considering all his apologies and faith building words and actions, things go wayward and it all ends up in a miserable fight and makes it really hard for me to forgive him and be happy myself. Things are better though , I feel I am just not like before and had to force myself to undergo a lot of personality changes as result of all this.The relationship between us has turned really sour and I feel it has become irreparable. . Please advice on leading a healthy life with a healthy mind because divorce is just impossible. I also feel really bad for making him guilty of his act time and again. I feel I have lost control on my mind after this incidence and finding it very difficult to get back on my track of managing home, Kid and also a hectic work. I have off late started avoiding him as much as possible which has never happened in the last 14 years of our total relationship. becomes really hard to stay with all this in mind and still get along with the normal chores. I feel I have been strong enough to deal with all this without any emotional support all this while. But break down at times even without my knowledge. I am losing myself from within.