Dear Pria:

You wrote that you believed your husband to be “the perfect man .. that god has sent”= problem, because he is not perfect in any way. How do I know? Because we are talking about a human being and none is perfect, not by themselves and not in relationship to another. We only IMAGINE a person is perfect. A child imagines her parents are perfect because of her (or his) need to feel safe, protected. As children grow up, if mentally well and equipped, they change the way they see the parents, no longer perfect but “good enough” (if they were good enough, in an ideal situation).

Seeing your husband as perfect is a result of lack of maturing enough. And if the husband thinks the wife sees him as perfect, it may feel nice for a while, but there is pressure in it. He knows, in that case, that he is not perfect and is afraid of you finding out. Give him the space to be … appropriately imperfect, so he is relaxed to be himself.

anita