Dear Andrew M.:

Clever way of writing…

What I am getting from your post is that there is a little scared Andrew inside of you and that little Andrew will not be ignored! You can’t by pass this scared little boy in you, the scared little boy that you are. The big, adult, sensible Andrew think he can: here is the right thing for me to do: join this dating site, eat healthful food… but no, scared little Andrew is still scared.

You are not get out of the circle you described so well unless you get on your knees, figuratively speaking, get into eye contact with the little boy Andrew, look at him with compassion, let him know you are with him every step of the way, take his hand in yours and start walking, slowly, taking breaks to get down to his eye level again, take as many breaks as he needs. That will be a slow walk but speeding it up without little Andrew will get you endlessly in the loop, never getting THERE, where you want to get.

You are scared. Every one of us is scared. And every one of us needs to be comforted. The little scared Andrew wants the suffering for him to end, so he grabs junk food without you even noticing… the thing IS, you haven’t been noticing him. You need to attend to him gently, patiently, the whole time until he is strong enough, not so scared and not so alone.

It looks like self sabotaging but really, it is about being scared.

Insight into what scares Andrew so much.. and skills of attending to and comforting him.

anita