Dear Unavailable”

Your girlfriend’s mental problems, discussed in your previous threads, are intimately related to her mother. In the quest of HEALING, the quest your girlfriend must undertake for a good life, the quest necessary for your well being for as long as your life is tied with your girlfriend’s, you must remove the mother… she must remove her mother from her and your life. She cannot change her mother.

She must get away from her mother, completely terminate her relationship with her mother, have no contact, not live there, not have a telephone conversation with her, no birthday cards, nothing at all. She must no longer try to please her mother, try to get along with her mother or anything like that. If she can’t get her money back from her mother, then she cannot. She needs not be in a situation where it is at all possible for her mother to take away her money.

I would strongly suggest, Unavailable, that if your girlfriend is not willing to completely cut contact with her mother when you and her live together, that you think again. Or at least if she is not willing to minimize that contact so much that her mother is no longer a problem in your lives… And I mean minimize like maybe a birthday card once a year. Maybe.

anita