Thank you for your replies.

Yes there is some sense in what you are saying.

I am open to seeing a person for help. However I have always found that paying for help never ends in success. It is hard to find good service providers out there (in any precession)
Knowing my luck I will pay lots of money and not really get anywhere. (Based on past experience).

I can see that right now I am struggling with life because I am now not just trying to be perfect for myself and parents and friends but now I am trying to be perfect husband, Perfect father and Perfect boss. Feel like I am failing on all fronts.