I find myself in a kind of similar situation with the father of my son.
It has been a really tough two years. I have kicked him out of our home. Three times. I should have only done it once but went back in the hopes of change. Change didn’t come.

The most painful part for me is the complete lack of acknowledgment or responsibility for his behaviour.
He always minimised his bad behaviour, silenced me, ignored me. He was very abusive emotionally, but twisted it all around and now I am being held up as ‘crazy’.

His actions in the midst of the breakup and his nasty words have thank goodness made me realise I am doing the right thing.
He talks a lot about how much his son means to him but is not providing and playing games about money, forgot to spend the day with his son in the same week he is accusing me of getting in the way of him and his son (which I do not do)

I find myself in a position where I am being forced, I feel, to be really tough and firm.
It’s scary because it feels wrong to be so…assertive.

What I have realised is that he has taught me just how inassertive I have been and this is why it feels so uncomfortable and wrong now. But it is absolutely right to stand your ground and not let people like this walk all over you, neglect you, or abuse you.

As they say, if you allow yourself to be disrespected, chances are you will be disrespected.

He is seeing the consequences of his actions now, and of course, blaming me.

I have been hellbent on getting him to see my point of view but I am only finding freedom in the realisation that I do not need to convince him or anyone related to him to know my personal truth.