Hi Saiisha! Thankyou for your input – at this moment in my life I have been re-evaluating my life and thinking about what does and doesn’t work for me, and right now (especially as it is a new year) I feel like I am in a position to be making major changes in my life, and that I feel strong enough to start making them. You said you weren’t going to give me any advice – just out of curiosity, if you did have advice to give me, what would you say? Maybe what I meant to say was I don’t like receiving advice from my family, in part due to some of the points Anita has suggested.

Hi Anita! I think your points are spot on – especially the point you made about me diving into things without thinking because the inner critic (created in part by my siblings) would soon rain on my parade.

My siblings (especially my older sister) and parents have given me advice before and it didn’t turn out to work in my favour. For example – I wanted to go to a particular 6th form after secondary school – I had been to an interview/open day for this place and I fell in love with the college. My family, however, suggested against it and told me to go to another college which in their opinion would have been better – the place I wanted to go to, I would have only had to concentrate on my one subject (art). The place my family wanted me to go to, I could still have done art but I would have also done my other academic subjects as well. I felt pressurised to going to the place they wanted me to go to but I hated it and I felt really isolated. Maybe they think they know what’s best for me (they still do) but only I know what’s best for me when I am being completely objective about myself. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.

Maybe I just deliberately go against their advice or their wishes just to spite them and rebel against them. My older sister still speaks to me in a condescending manner, criticizing me and loves trying to rain on my bonfire despite the fact we no longer live under the same roof – I recently confronted my parents about the fact they allowed her to treat me like dirt most of my life but you know what they said? “WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH…”

I think you are absolutely spot on Anita – I sometimes find it hard to deal with advice and constructive criticism because it reminds me of times when my family criticized me harshly.

2016 is going to be the fresh start I want in life, and I have decided to no longer see myself as a victim. That’s not to just suggest I’m just going to condone the fact my siblings have been horrid to me but I don’t want to let them win and I am determined not to let them control my life at all costs. I guess I need to be more objective when it comes to making decisions and only asking people I trust for advice.

But thanks again for your input Anita, this is a real eye-opener 🙂

Thanks

Joe