Dear Scott:

I am sorry you are confused. When I am confused it feels badly to me, then when I get clarity it feels so much better, a relief. And you can get clarity too.

What is your need to tell your family about what happened with this girl two years ago?

In the future, you can choose to not get involved with a girl who has a boyfriend (or a husband!), you learned that. You were very young then and the only person who could have been hurt through no fault of his own was the then boyfriend. But two years later, it is water under the bridge, long gone. They broke up not because of you, but because of HER and HIM. Nothing to do with you.

This girl, this friend, hurt you quite a bit by bringing this up now. She hurt you so that she could feel better, blaming you so that she can feel blameless. This was wrong of her. Tell her how bothered you are by her blaming you and see what she says.

If you value honesty and she is dishonest then you should not be her friend. If you value kindness and she is not kind, then you should not be her friend, and most importantly, if you tell her you are hurt and she doesn’t express that she cares, then you shouldn’t be her friend.

Choose your friends. It is not your job to be anybody’s friend. Choose your friends.

You can use this as an opportunity to choose this girl as a friend or choose to un-friend her. It will feel good to practice the power to choose. It is your right to choose your friends.

Post again, please…
anita