Dear SLiveLife1:

I agree with you on the following points that you made in your post:

1) “…all of a sudden she is fine with this guy and has no insecurities at all which I don’t believe because she had insecurities before I even met her.” I agree that no way her insecurities are gone and no way, unfortunately for her and her new boyfriend, that this new relationship of hers is a “Happily Ever After” relationship. Not even close.

2) “…he does not look like the sort of guy who would wait 3 years to get fully intimate with someone or would do half the things I did or would do for her.” Not too many people in the world do so much for another person without much return on their investment. You gave and gave and gave.

3) “…The weird thing is though is I went to see her on the 4th of December…” I agree that there is a lot of weirdness here, and therefore I agree with the thoughts behind your feeling that it is indeed… weird.

It seems to me that she is not an honest person, not honest in telling you the truth about how she was feeling all along. I think fear played a big part in her behavior. Fear motivated her to keep distance from you AND to cling to you at different times. I think she finally broke up with you completely when she felt secure enough (but will not be for long) with the new guy. For as long as she wasn’t sure that he will stay with her, she clung to you as her safety, safety in your love for her. When she felt safe enough with him, she let go of you.

Why did she feel safer with him? Maybe, likely, because he has a job and she hopes for better financial safety with him.

What do you think so far? If you reply, we can keep “talking” here.

anita