Dear cath:

One day it will be so much better for you, so much better. You will look back at this distress and it will be in the past, long gone. To get to that future, let us learn from the present so that we can move to a better future…

Your mother and your father are of no support to you. You need support. They are focused on their distress and are not paying attention to you. This is probably not new.

And your boyfriend who put you down- well, this was not the support you needed!

You know what is NOT support: people focusing only on their distress and not seeing yours; people passing on their distress on to you by dumping it on you and going as far as putting you down, this is abusive.

Support is when someone SEES you, see your distress and says: I see you and YOU matter. I will hold your hand until you are calm and when you are calm and feeling safe, we will figure out what to do.

Can you get away from your father’s presence? Take a walk… stay away from the two of them while still living there (the longer term goal is to move away, maybe in a few weeks….)

And now and then, you will choose supportive people to be in your life, un-choosing those who dump and pass on their distress onto you.

May you soon find peace… and until then, please post anytime, as much and as often as you want.

anita