Dear Lily:

I agree that saying Hello to this guy is all you should ever say to him, if that at all… Engaging in any conversation with him is futile because he already expressed his disrespect to you again and again. His disrespectful behavior toward you has to stop and you must not make it possible for him to disrespect you again by not talking to him, not letting him into your place, not meeting him on purpose, etc.

And then, you must (I do use the word must because it is necessary, not optional, for your well being) recognize it when other people act disrespectfully toward you, and reject such behavior. Instead of engaging in empathetic feelings for the person who disrespects you, protect yourself and avoid that person.

Your father took the bathroom key because people using the bathroom must have been in the habit of locking it. Maybe your father was in the habit, sometimes, of entering the bathroom without knocking first, or someone was in the habit of doing that… I am thinking that someone in the home where you grew up did not respect your privacy, and disrespectfully crossed your space…. and this is why you were so unclear when this guy, neighbor crossed your space. You didn’t know because you are so used to it…

anita