Dear Seaisland:

Good point about scripts vs real life: delivery of lines is different, very different than the lines one comes with spontaneously. I am far, far from worshiping movie stars or other celebrities. But movies, the images, sounds on the big screen are provide a powerful delivery of concepts. As to your favorite quote, I am not having a good reaction to reading it because I believe that a child who was unloved and mistreated does not choose those furnishing in his or her brain. Unfortunately one is stuck with those furnishing until the person goes through the long and difficult process of healing. And once healed enough, the choice of furnishing has already been selected through the process, piece by piece, over time.

Dear jock:

I appreciate you answering my question. My thoughts about your answer:

You wrote: “It is possible for suffering to make us better people, more compassionate but not all the time.”- I agree with that, possible but not necessarily so and often it is not so. Most abuse of others in the world is delivered by people who suffered themselves and pass on the suffering to others.

As to what you wrote here: “I seriously think I still have some debt to pay for past sins. Example, quitting jobs too easily. Deep down I think I haven’t suffered enough for this yet, which makes me apprehensive about the future.” Understandably to me, if you believe you didn’t pay enough yet for past mistakes or … sins, then you would be apprehensive- it is not a calming thought to imagine the ways you are yet to suffer. What you are describing here is a core belief, a long held deep belief. In the Cognitive Therapy I attended there are exercises done on paper during the therapy session: stating a core belief like that and examining it scientifically for accuracy, being open to maybe it is so, maybe it is only partially so, or completely inaccurate.

Would you like to examine this core belief, that you are yet to pay with pain and suffering for your past mistakes (or future mistakes)?

anita