I have this same wiring in my brain. I think a lot of other people have this wiring, too. In fact, I think this is quite common wiring with which humans evolved over the ages: Humans who had a strong wiring towards “unsatisfaction” were probably pulled towards securing more resources to survive. They tended to work harder, store more food, fight for the best shelter, and survive longer.

This drive for survival is great and all, but I think that where things get screwed up is: when we feel unsatisfied, it’s really really hard to feel enjoyment/happiness/satisfaction. And if happiness is your goal in life, then an overly strong “unsatisfaction wiring” system can hamper your happiness.

I have this situation in my brain especially. My brain has been so unsatisfied for years that I have a fantastic job, a supportive partner, solid health, and a comfortable house — but my brain rarely lets me simply enjoy these things.

A few years ago I started to see that people who had far less of a “successful life” (well, what our culture says is successful) than me were actually far more satisfied that I was. I started digging into this (with some help from a therapist), and it’s been a journey.

Every once in a while (maybe like an hour or two every few months, and it has slowly been increasing), my brain releases its death grips and lets me actually see clearly what I have in my life, and it’s awesome when it does. It feels better than any “success” that I have achieved in my career. It feels like real happiness, real joy. And what’s funny is that no “thing” in my life has changed in those moments, my brain is simply seeing, with clarity, what is already in my life.

I can tell that people with less of the “unsatisfaction wiring” experience these awesome moments far more often than I do.

If happiness/joy is really what we’re chasing, then battling this overly strong unsatisfaction wiring is the actual work that people like me must do.

I have more thoughts on this, but I gotta get back to work; so I’ll stop here for now.