Dear Viloet:

What an interesting story! Your thinking is very organized, neat, clear. I see you as a woman who is very aware and sees the bigger picture, thoughtful, not impulsive, guarded but empathetic.

This is an opportunity for the two of you, having come from not so great homes, to heal together. It is a great opportunity because the two of you are willing. And you are so clear thinking. He has a lot on his mind and heart: he has suffered a lot and is a bit more… troubled than you, needs more help than you but both of you need each other and if you can work together it will be great for the two of you.

This is more than you expected when you did the online dating initiative, isn’t it? The communication method you suggested was an excellent idea, the schedule but isn’t it amazing how life interrupts simple plans, as it is often more complicated than anticipated?

This is a great opportunity because the two of you are willing and humble enough. His pessimism regarding his health can be heavily influenced by his much suffering and he can become optimistic over time.

You wrote that he sees someone twice a month? If it is a good psychotherapist, maybe you can join in on a few sessions as a couple for the purpose of the two of you working on individual healing in the context of your relationship. Injuries from harmful relationships with parents can only be healed in a … healing relationship, and this may be a healing relationship.

It will take time and work but can be amazingly beneficial for both, a Win-Win.

Please do post again! I would very much like to read more and reply more!

anita